Saturday, 2 November 2013

Big, scary decisions

I have a big decision to make this weekend.

I've been offered a job. A good job. One might even say that it is my dream job, or it was, or it probably will be again, one day.

The problem is that this job is in Thunder Bay. Never heard of it? Trust me, a year ago, I probably couldn't have located it on a map. And now I'm considering moving there. By myself. In like, two weeks.

Here are some of the factors I'm considering:

  • This is an amazing opportunity, especially for someone my age. This is not a position I ever dreamed I'd have by 25. 
  • It's also an incredibly intimidating opportunity. I'd have to confront every professional fear I have. (Public speaking. Flying in tiny airplanes. Dealing with people who don't think I'm capable because of my age. Dealing with people who don't think I'm capable because I'm a woman. Having to know stuff for sure and communicate it with confidence.)
  • I'd also have to confront a bunch of general fears (Cold. Snow. Lots more cold and lots more snow and having to start all over again in a new place with no friends and no family)
  • Did I mention the cold?
  • It's a full time job. With benefits, and a pension. If I were to stay in Toronto, it would be with the knowledge that come January, I'd be going back to part-time contract work with no guarantee that another opportunity will come along. (That's only partly true. I'm pretty smart. I'll probably find another job...eventually.)
  • It would be an ADVENTURE. This is something that has been sorely lacking in my life lately. I would get to see a whole different part of the country, experience the north, figure out what the deal with Finnish pancakes is, and be paid to drive around and visit communities that I would never see otherwise. 
  • It would a CHALLENGE. A chance to get better at the things that scare me. Maybe it will turn out I love public speaking and flying in tiny airplanes!
  • It's far. Really far. For some reason, this wouldn't be as much of a consideration if the job were 18 hours south (anyone want to pay me to move to South Carolina?), but the fact that it is an 18 hour drive north, away from my family, is probably the biggest factor holding me back. 
  • It's gonna be friggin cold, y'all. 
So that's the debate. Do I take a job I feel woefully unprepared for, in a frigid city 18 hours away from my friends and family, or let this opportunity slide and keep doing the job I've been doing with the hope that something similarly great will come along? 

How is it that either decision feels crazy in it's own way? 

1 comment:

  1. It sounds like an amazing opportunity, Alex. The decision should, of course, be 100% from you, but I think you should go for it. It's not very often these opportunities fall on our laps. And while a lot of the results of saying yes to this decision seem scary, they also seem like an AMAZING chance to find out more about who you are and what you want to do professionally. Maybe one thing to remember is that this job doesn't have to be forever... you know?

    All that being said, I would totally understand it if you turned it down. It is so so hard being far from family and friends. But learning to thrive outside their comfort is something that is so valuable to practice and learn.

    ReplyDelete